I Hate You

(This reading of poetry is best accompanied by the background music of the Planning For Burial track Golden from the Desideratum album. Listen to the track and start reading aloud at the 1:11 track mark starting with the words "I Hate You.")

...............I Hate You..............

I Hate Your words of silence

I hate your lack of friendship

I hate waiting for you

I hate when you say you'll be there, and you aren't.

I hate being not in control

I hate not seeing you.

I Fuckin hate you.

I hate promises that fell short.

I hate our once a year meetings

I hate being the person you left behind.

I hate staring at my old house.

I hate my family

I hate my elders.

I hate my girlfriend

I hate my friends who let me down

I hate my yesterdays, & tomorrows, and I hate me.

I hate that my hero's are ill, dead, or dying.

I hate not being a musician.

I hate the word aspire. 

And forever will aspire, and to that I hate you.

I hate jobs

I hate that you're too busy.

(To sit and speak.)

I hate you.

...You that yielded our friendship away,

and the promise of standing behind me...

I hate you.

I hate that you have family, children, 

those you made and erased me from your life. 

Something that I'll never have.

I hate you.

I hate my Brother.

I hate my sister.

My mother, my father, my blood

The wanting..

I hate the feelings I felt,

I hate you for nothing.

I Fucking hate you

And I want Fucking War!

I Hate You.

I hate your pills....

I hate your drugs...

I hate your drinking... I just hate you.

I hate you for remembering me 

when only guilty, alone, and afraid...Regret.

Ego; I hate you.

I hate you when you say you'll be here,

but never show your face.

I hate you.

I hate your success

I hate your failures

I hate your art

I hate the word friend

I hate the noose I dream..

The astounding bounding around my neck.

I hate you.

I hate every hour I sway

I hate the lack of sex, steam, 

and the pounding of your skin on mine

I hate you.

I hate surviving,

I hate existence.

The fenced in furnace of my dying soul

I hate you.

I hate you Robby.

Robby William Forg,

because you, are you.

I hate what you know

I hate what've you seen

I hate your experience

I Fucking Hate You!

I hate that you sleep

I hate we never leave the house.

I hate being alone.

I hate the funerals, I hate my dreams

I hate that I'm living a nightmare

I hate the lack of opportunities

I hate my memories

I hate you.

I hate you.

I—hate, you!

I hate what you've become

I hate what you've done to me.

I hate the daydream,

The Pointed gun in(the)side of my head blasting off

just to share my thoughts with the world

I hate you.

I hate the weird,

the sick,

the afflicted,

The yearning for more

The Monster I am.

You never being on time.

I hate you, I hate you even more.

I hate the note placed above my head

The echo in the room across the street 

my mother walking away while I sleep,

I hate that I can't move on.

I hate you.

I hate the man who raped her 

I found my joy in a dead grandfather.. I hate you.

I hate remembering

The dust the rage the broken tree

all of the holidays gone in a television memory. 

I hate you.

The 24 bottles of jager, 

a crying father in a kitchen 

who married a woman 

and didn't even tell his own son.

I hate you.

The holiday hell ride begins and I hate you.

Every year for the past 9 years.

I hate you.

I hate being forced to a wedding I didn't believe in.

 I hate you.

I hate the man

who chose a whore over a son.

Father, I hate you.

What am I to say? what can I fix that I can't fix?

 I hate this.

I hate needing a therapist.

I hate wanting to die.

I hate my writing will never be published.

I hate the word try..

I hate feelings.

The fake, the jaded, the same snakes you made,

I hate you.

I hate you not believing in me.

I hate a being a statistic.

I hate the reason I'm haunted,

it is cliche as the American dream

I hate you.

I hate nights that had gone on by 

as a waving year of a run on day,

a decade down the drain.. 

I hate you.

I hate surviving.

I hate surviving.

I hate surviving . . .

I hate being stupid, I hate being looked over and under. Looked past... 

I hate you.

I hate the roaring leaves

waiting for the colors that never turn too long to wait,

and in a blink its a weathered tree.

I hate you.

I hate the empty streets of Halloween,

a dead day gone, in a what used to be.

I hate you.

I hate the voices that yell at me in the night 

replaying the horrors of growing up.

I hate you.

I hate the blood, the screams,

 the bloody walls made from my uncle 

While choking his wife 

as me and my cousins 

were pushed out on christmas eve.

I hate...

I Fuckin' hate you!

I hate remembering.

I hate getting over, getting past, getting on

I hate forgiveness.

I hate your back when it was turned.

I hate you when I speak.

Stewing in my thoughts of the times

The minds withered and weak. 

I Hate You.

I hate my mind, riddled in the ambience of silence.

I hate the violence, on innocent souls bred of compliance. 

I Hate You.

I hate with my being, 

the vessel, the core, not just one reason..

I hate complexity and talks of existential shit 

what no one knows as an irony... 

I hate this.

I hate feeling the same, but left feeling displaced, I hate it.

...Replaced, and Degraded...

I hate the feelings, 

as if my emotions are my face placed on my forearm 

looking outside in the backseat of a window..

I hate it...

The Grey clouds blurring my vision beaded rain on the window. 

I can't pilot my own ship, I hate it. 

A captain of my plane, am I insane? 

My words revisioned. I hate this.

I hate it.

Giving romance with a chance at first glance to show these feelings.. I think it's a weakness.

I hate it...

What's more to plause? 

A cause that draws a clause 

from a pen of a riddled mind that roars, 

in the truth to all?

Disdain... I Hate It.

The soaring eye on the left hand, 

a needle drawn ink in the grain, 

futility stained, on this skin of the broken man, he writes,

and you hate it.

Too strong, you can't even stand this long, enough 

to keep enduring these lines 

that these words are travelling on.. 

You're Hated.

To those that stop or skim, 

on these words as a fad or trend...

 I hate you.

I hate confined spaces

a canteen of the mind

a boxed in idea too square to redesign

I hate you.

Plagued by yesteryear in the advent of shallow peers 

who can't grab a thought of their own to dethrone

the answer to the pointless question of 

why the fuck we're here. 

I hate you.

This is just the tip of my hate 

not enough pages here to explain 

the past, the present, or relevance to my future claims

 but right now, I'm waiting.