Blurred Visions

I remember how we used to be,

Waiting through days through every spring.

I wanted to find out what it means

To me, to us, to everything.

Your silence arose, it was loud with speech

My sorrow grew within my reach

I yearned for autumn to see the trees

To remember you as the peace it brings.

I thought you held another's hand

Alone was I in the thoughts that ran

I took a pen from the table stand,

I wrote my will and my message, then

Said goodbye, finalized contention,

Thought you up—then digressed, and

That void could never be filled. . .

Half empty the cup

Swallowed your lust 

Until I was drowning.

Dying of thirst--dying from wanting.

Eyes commanding.

The heart demanding.

The wait, the will, the writhing

Though I'm dead--I'm still standing.

How long will it go, this madness...

Chasing ghosts I adore in an empty mattress?

Swimming in a lovely sea of you.

Dreaming of your perfume

Pillows filled with solo gloom

How could you feel at all?

Down & Out these notes, for you

Could Autumn bring you into view?

Will I ever find what I'm looking for?

Until we meet again.