In the Middle of This Nowhere

I used to be free, unbounded by thoughts mere memories. 

I painted pictures in my backyard, hunting for home. 

I would get lost inside of music, searching for yours. 

I so wanted a place to be happy, to draw the lines I adored... 

I never wanted to remember reality. 

I wished for reasons to get up, things to keep me out of bed 

Separated from thought and these words in my head. 

I couldn't find a reason. I couldn't look at pictures of joy. 

I couldn't sit on the swing, I was too old. 

Do you remember? How we used to look at the stars and hope? 

Somewhere beyond the surfaces of sky, dreaming of our time. 

Now they're just burning rocks. Flecks of dust. 

Racing to our past, sending a message that twenty years changed like this; a warning.

 A letter unopened–missives unsent,

Just thoughts in retrospect, attempts made to shout at the tiniest of hands. 

Premonitions... Alone, nary a voice to share 

Distant. Not a hand to hold. 

Reminiscent. Who would care to know? 

You'll go through the darkest part of your life, not touching a soul. 

You'll not feel the warm heat of words stand by your own. 

Everyone will be dead.  Those that you loved, and had ever known. 

Most will be too busy with families of their own. 

Remember. You'll be poor, you won't have a home. 

You'll cling to a dream you can barely hold. 

Mistakes. . . Mistakes have been made. 

Like friends and fellows before you, the biggest mistake: is overlooking your worth. 

You'll claw for acceptance. You'll tare away at your chance. 

With only mere blips of light with no one in sight

You'll take your own life... to have one. 

This is your premonition, your self-made prophecy. 

You'll fill every mile and chalice. It will overflow with illusion. 

You'll drink it at the brim. 

You'll stare at what little you'll have, and lie–thinking you're whole.

Daydreaming relentlessly of always wanting more. 

You will trade your things for memories and it too will be a wasted goal 

When you awake on most of your days you'll find yourself alone... You can't take it back. 

Remember those asteroids as a kid. The ones you wanted to ride on and go home? 

Well, the ride's not coming, and neither are the people that you want most. 

So here's the truth to you: "You'll fail. but eventually, you'll have friends. 

They'll come from unexpected places but you'll never see the same faces again." 

Time is your enemy. Your memories will be too..

You won't let go of things once said, and you won't find a way to move. 

You'll draw a blank face: standing with a blank stare, 

You're a deer in the headlights, you'll be consistently stuck there. 

Is this where you want to go, somewhere down this road? 

I wish I could have taught you, but it's too late now that we're grown.