My Inner Demons Are Outward Thinkers

We all have issues, 

You just don't see mine as a top post through a news feed 

Fishing for likes and commentary. 

Why pile on all that misery? 

To people that can't change a thing That they don't want to see, 

Economically declined to emotionally invest in your success 

When their soul is spiritually bankrupt and their lives too are wrecked. 

I write, when most of you sleep, because I too, am burdened by dreams. 

Dreams I don't know how to obtain or ever will, 

Chasing them in bouts; mentally ill... while you sleep. 

I am kept up night and day, as my past stays to riddle my brain

 This isn't for your pity or for me to complain 

It's for you to quit acting like a baby and for you to get back to work again. 

Not back to the 9 to 5 grind, busting ass for a slave wage 

Or the place where you daydream Of mojitos refilling while you don't do a fucking thing. 

Living? Ha, you're just existing!

 ...You must work on you... 

It will take more hours than your salary to reinvent what's sought, 

Or at least thought of, of what you ought to be. 

Realistically: you'll still be unaccomplished 

Because most of us who make goals, place them stretched beyond our reach. 

With some, we never get started, and then we vent... Maybe, because we like crying. 

Or vying for the unattainable, 

Life's easier with no options. That's what the naive say most often. 

But my question is: "Why does everyone seek a savior though never listened once to a prophet? 

Why do people seek saving never acknowledging what the cost is?" 

My family is gone, My home is dead. 

I'm grieving, I'm wishing, to live in the place that I once hated, 

A place that I can never return to, (Nor even afford). 

I live, though I don't feel at home... 

A place is only a place to put your shit in, I'm just waiting here until I don't anymore. 

I used to have heroes. Only a couple still remain on this earth 

You can't take things with you when you perish, so what the fuck do you cherish? 

When you're immune to self-love. 

Loving someone for honor holds about as much fulfillment as a broken promise. 

You cannot place your total happiness in someone, it's reckless. 

You'll be let down every time. That's a lot of burden to put on someone. 

Even I, grabbed a lesson from a monster. 

Someone being the reason for you to live is stupid, 

Wanting things better than what you had. . .  It's fucking useless. 

These words I remember, they're only from last year 

And as to my thoughts: I ponder; I yield.